


Who am i?

by orphan_account



Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X, Rockman | Mega Man - All Media Types
Genre: Being Lonely, Chapter 3 has storm eagle with one arm off but its put lightly so i dont think i need to tag that, Crushes, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gender Dysphoria, Lots of crying in chapter 2, Nightmares, Other, Sad, Slow Burn, X crushing on Zero snd Zero doing the same thing, Zero gets hurt as well but i wrote it lightly, cheek kiss, human like robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:53:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21800698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: X doesn't feel at home with himself, hes upset and doesn't know what to do. So he starts asking the real questions and maybe he might get answers and find himself along the way.Zero's helping X learn even more then before Zero also learns something about himself but it's not as big as what X learns about X' self
Relationships: X/Zero (Rockman)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	1. Learning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Eyes On Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12093117) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> This is a story I based off a story I read once, it's called eyes on me and if you don't like feelings of gender dysphoria. It's got that in it they also say it has depictions of dysphoria during sexual activity so watch out if you don't like that stuff be careful.
> 
> This story has some of gender dysphoria in it to so if you don't like stuff where characters are like I don't think I'm supposed to be this gender people say I am even though I heard this my whole life.
> 
> I'm explaining for me and for you, cause I have to do that for myself and you guys that's just how my brain works
> 
> Again
> 
> Please don't read if this bothers you I don't want you uncomfy and this is the first project I'm posting here I wrote lots of things but I never post them so please be nice and don't read if this makes you upset in anyway.
> 
> I also don't know if there will be any steamy parts in this I'm leaning on yes but ithe will be real slow cause they don't know what they doing I don't know what I'm doing and zero sure doesn't know what he's doing. But lots of fluff I can tell you that.

X was gazing upon himself in the mirror, his full body or what could be seen in the mirror anyway, he was looking for what was making him feel upset about himself for the last few days X wasn't feeling like himself he wasn't feeling like X the mavrick hunter more like X the incomplete reploid. Something was wrong with his body and he was going to find out tonight.

X started at his hips, he liked his wide hips and thighs he felt them, they felt normal, they felt right.

X didn't have a penis he had a slit in his slower regence and he saw nothing wrong with that. moving on to his upper body X couldn't complain about his chest much, his chest was flat but it had some boobage to a very small extent unnoticeable even without his armor X still had a decent looking build.

If it wasn't his body then what was it? X knew something was upsetting him but he just couldn't find out what it was. Why was he so upset with himself? There was nothing wrong with his body. After sitting in his recharger it just came to him, maybe it wasn't his body that was the problem maybe it was that X didn't like being called a he. "He" Was not something X thought about, pronouns was not something X thought about but maybe…X wasn't comfortable because he wasn't a he, "he" wasn't X, X was a reploid and he was somebody else. Maybe X was something else, something else all together.

X went looking to the library and hit the books as hard as he could without breaking them hitting them mentally of course, and after a few days of research X finally found what he was looking for a book it was called, "You And Your Body." It was a book on humans dealing with their bodies, maybe some human somewhere had the same feelings X did, and help themself then decided to write about their experience so it could help other's. X took the book back to his room and made sure to lock the door before sitting down with his new book, at first glaze the book talked about how the body worked and so on and so forth X already knew how the human and reploid body worked but this sure taught him more then the basics of the human species.

After a full two hour of reading X found what he was looking for, this part right here help X so much he was just at a lost for words. The book read, "If your not feeling yourself try renaming yourself, what is really you? If your not he you are she, if your not her your him but if your neither your them you are yourself. You are whatever you want to be." X knew what was bothering him now, it wasn't his body, it was him well it was being called "him", X was not a him.

It never sat right with X that he was labeled "he", if he was a "he" why did Doctor Light give him this slit? If X was a boy why would he have a vagina? X had questions for his creator. 

Not that X saw anything wrong with being called "he" and being one of the boys it just wasn't him, it always made X a little uncomfortable that people would call him a "he" cause that's not the case cause X was a reploid, and reploid is a robot, a robot doesn't have a gender at least that's what X thought. So a robot could be anything it wanted to be and X wanted to be something else.

***

The next day when some of the units that weren't out on the field doing recons or hunting mavricks were training, X looked for his friend cause he knew Zero went out on the field most days but some days he stayed and trained to keep his wits sharp or something like that. He usually train with X cause well, they were best friends and that's what best friends did, they train together and pretend to be butt hurt when they saw eachother training with somebody else. Looking around for the red armor of his friend, looking threw the small crowds of reploids training together X spotted the Red Bot instructing a rookie on how to do a certain technique.

"Hey!" X waved his hands in the air and he saw him wave back Zero finish showing the reploid how to stab their saber correctly and they thanked him and ran off probably to go train with a friend, X walked over and Zero gave X a look of surprise but not so surprised.

"I thought you said you wasn't coming to practice today," He clicked a button on his saber and the light beam disappeared. "what change your mind? Or did you just come to see me?"

"Actually I have a question for you, well questions."

"Alright, spill." X shook his head. "This is deep conversation stuff Zero I need you to come back to my room so we can have a chat on a exciting topic."

"if by deep conversation you mean you're gonna talk my hearing receptors off until I go into forced sleep mode, then your gonna have to wait until my training is over."

"But Zero this is important to me" The Blue Bot pleaded. "So is this to me, but once I'm done I promise I'll listen to what you have to say okay? I missed you today and yesterday X." His features softened and he gave X hair a good rub. "I missed you too Zero, but this was really REALLY important to me and I need a second opinion or thoughts on what I'm thinking right now." X would remove Zero's hand from his head but something about it felt safe and reassuring so he left it.

"Alright X as soon as I'm done I'll head for your room okay?"

"Okay." Said X feeling very shy and nervous all of a sudden, where did his confidence go? Before X could question himself more Zero held out his arm and X instinctively did the same doing their signature arm link and they parted ways but not before X could lock eyes with Zero if not just for a moment.

***

X was thinking how he could go about telling Zero this, would he understand? Would he have to explain in deep detail? Would Zero not even see this as something X should be spending his time on? So many questions and sernarios ran threw X head until he heard a know on his door.

"It's me. Am I allowed in?" X didn't have to see his face to know he was joking, X was about to put the passcode in before he stoped his fingers from pressing the last diget. "Whats the password?"

"I don't know your putting it in, you don't know your own passcode to your own room? What's wrong with you?" X could hear his smile threw the door.

"Nothings wrong with me," he let him walk in moving out of the way. "And It's 46722" X stuck his tongue out at Zero and he responded by doing the same.

"Alright So…what's so important and exciting X?" Zero pulled a nearby chair out and took a seat, satisfied with the greeting he got at the door.

"Um…i dont know if you'll understand. But if you start feeling…uncomfortable you can leave and I'll try something else by myself." Zero raised a brow at that last part but listened carefully.

X let out a breath. "Well…Zero, you know…how…how there are boys and girls?" He said trying to sound confident but his voice was betraying him. "Yes?"

"Okay…um…well you know how your a boy?" He gestured to Zero. "Yeah?"

"I'm …not a boy."

There was silence.

"Okay. I know that, your a reploid like me."

"No, Iike…your a male reploid, i'm not." X was looking Zero in the eyes waiting for the Red Bots reaction. "Are you a female then? And everybody has just been getting it wrong? It's probably the blue. That color is associated with males most of the time. I apologize if I have been offending you, you should have corrected me." X could see that is friend was trying to understand but wasn't quite getting it.

"No, like. I'm not a girl either…I'm neither."

"I don't think I understand X, explain?"

"I'm a reploid, a robot, I'm whatever I wanna be... and I don't know what I am." X let the weight of his shoulders sink down in defeat, sure he knew what he was but he didn't know "what" he was. And even if he did what would he call himself? He's not a boy yet people call him "he" he's not a girl yet X has no problem with being called she. He's something else, and he didn't know what that something else was. Zero put his hand on X shoulder and he looked up at him. "What do you wanna be?" Said Zero.

"I don't know…i just wanna be X."

"And who is X?" Zero put both hands on X shoulders. "I don't know-" Zero shook X back and forth. "Wrong answer. Who is X?" He looked him in the eyes waiting for a answer. X Looked within himself for the answer, who is X? Well X is a variable but who was the person baring this name that means he could do and be anything he wanted?

"I'm X. I can be whatever I wanna be." He put his hands over Zeros. The problem wasn't quite solved but X did feel better about himself now. "Thank you Zero." X wasn't thinking about it but their faces have gotten really close, X could see every beautiful eyelash on Zero's eyes and count them to. His eyes oh gosh his eyes, they were even more beautiful then the lashes, the sky blue pearls, they were just perfect for staring at all day getting lost in even. And his lips, they were…right there…very close…right there.

"Are we okay now?" The sound of his voice put X back on earth, back on this planet back in his body, X shook his head and looked around to make sure he was back in his room and not somewhere else. "Yeah, I'm okay, thank you again Zero you really helped me."

"Happy I could help" he let go of X and started to the door. X watched him, his pony tail swayed with every step he took it was beautiful. "46722 right?"

"Right."

"See you later X."

"Bye…"

…

What the heck was that?

Zero was on the other side of the door asking the exact same question.


	2. I do dream about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> X sleeps off his worries but just becomes more worried in his dream, while people are worried about him in the real world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing X dream was super fun and I think my writing is getting better, I wanted to rewrite the first chapter when I started making this one sound cool but I'm not going back we can only go forwards from here.
> 
> Also I'm mean to X for taking Zero from him a bunch of times
> 
> This story also doesn't have a update schedule cause I was never good with scheduling junk so you get a chapter as soon as I write it which is probably in like a day or 3 or 2 cause I don't spend the whole day writing, if that was the case it would be a 2 chapters a day but I don't pre write or plan anything so blaahhhhh enjoy this longer part

It had been a few weeks sense Zero and X had that intense talk and X found himself thinking about it more and more often as the days dragged on.

Maybe all this "he she" stuff is something X should lay off his mind before he loses his last brain cell. Hes always been this way and never has he ever once complained about being made. 

Everything just felt so heavy right now, like the world was moving and X was just standing still.

Why was X a boy? What made X a boy? These questions needed to be answered.

Maybe he was just over thinking this whole thing, maybe none of it really mattered like Zero said.

As far as anybody was concerned X was just another hunter doing their job to protect citizens, so why did this bother him? Does it really truly matter if your a boy or a girl?

X was beginning to feel uneasy about this whole thing, it was a thought that was taking control of his mind for days on end, never going away and never leaving him alone. It didn't affect his work but it did leave a bad taste in his mouth. 

This isn’t normal

It's not okay for reploids to be feeling this way and it surely wasn't okay for a busy hunter like himself to have these feelings that hold him back from his work.

He was pass the point of worry and he just wanted all this to stop and leave him alone, he wanted all these internal emotional feelings to go away.

He didn't wanna think about this anymore.

Would he ever be okay again? Would these weird talks about gender ever stop bothering him?

Serveral metallic knocks on the door woke him up from his living nightmare. He wasn't really expecting any visitors but X kinda knew who it was before he called out to them.

"You can come in." he spoke loud. 

At least this would pry his mind away from his problems even just for a little bit. "Just thought I'd see you before I was off on my mission." He didn't bother closing the door behind him cause he didn't plan on being here long.

"Oh yeah you and Storm Eagle were leaving today, I'm sorry I forgot all about it," he ducked his head scratching in his hair. "It slip my mind." X said solemnly looking down at his hands.

"you're a busy bot, I don't expect you to be aware of what I'm doing 247."

X hummed "but I still shouldn't have forgotten, that was rude of me."

Zero examine X from top to bottom, he looked tuckered out. "Are you okay?" Zero crossed his arms leaning against the wall trying to understand X's feelings threw expression, he looked mentally drained.

"There’s just… a lot of stuff going on right now... but I'm alright." He assured

"If you say so X." Zero was not convinced.

There was a weird silence with little to talk about with no good conversation starters in mind, but that was okay because Zero like just hanging out with X even if they didn't have a topic to discuss or anything new to say.

Zero was worrying about X's mental state.

For the pass week X has been just doing his work then going home and sitting around, sure that sound kinda normal cause that's what the Red Bot did when he was done working minus the sitting around part the point is, X was acting strange and Zero didn't like it.

X was silently going threw tribulations on his own, Zero wanted to help but he didn't know how and thought the best thing to do was leave him alone and maybe he would figure it out on his own.

Zero broke the silence. "I'll see you later tonight then, I'm gonna be gone all day."

"Yeah, don't get hurt out there." X seem to pay attention now that Zero was about to leave.

"I don't control what happens on the battlefield but its the mavricks you should be worried about."

He scoffed quietly, unamused by Zero's comment. X needed to sit down, he was tired from his daily thinking session.

"I didn't intend to stay long." Zero could see the tiredness in X face, he saw it when he walked in. 

"Tell Storm Eagle I said hi." Zero was already out the door by time X thought about saying something, he heard a "yeah" from the hallway so message received.

He laid his head on his crossed arms closing his eyes as he was going into sleep mode.

-

His dream was vivid blinding sunlight hit his eyes when he walked out of what looked to be a house, X didn't recognize the house to be anyone he knew, there was no mail box or name on it but he didn't think about it to hard. He looked down to see he was dressed in a long blue dress like gown with black leggings and his hair was out he didn't question it. He continued walking on a invisible path that led him into the sky. 

"Hello girly." A voice came out of nowhere in the skies X could see nothing but clouds and flying fish.

X looked around to find where it was coming from. "I am no girl." He corrected the disembodied voice still searching the open blue for a form. "You look like a girl." It said. "Who are you?" X was starting to feel annoyed. "I'm right here" X spun around quickly to see a black figure that kinda resembled a reploid.

"I'm not a girl," He stated, quick to repeat himself. "and you didn't answer my question." He folded his arms in front of him the stranger on a cloud could see all the jewelry hanging around the Blue Bots neck as if he were a princess of some sort demanding cake at a wedding. "If you're not a girl then what are you?" The mystery reploid gave a mischievous smile. 

X arms fell to his sides, he didn't know. But one answer came to mind. "I'm X."

"Whats that?"

"It's a variable, it means I could be anything i wanted."

"Then you're not a boy?"

"I don't think I am," X looked down at his feet, his shoes were blue but not the normal armor he normally wore, these were softer looking. "Do you know what I am?" X was on the verge of pleading for an answer but restrained himself from begging like a dog. "I asked you first, what are you? A boy? A girl? A man or a woman?"

"Am i Neither?" X's eyes glistened he did not know and desperately wanted a answer from this stranger who possibly could know.

"Why do you need me to tell you what you already know the answer to?" They laid back on a loud giving X a sassy look.

"Cause I wanna be sure that that's the right answer."

"What do you want the answer to be?"

"I don't know that's why I'm asking you!" He stomped casing cracks to appear on the invisible sky road and in the heavens beyond on the clouds, it also shook the earth below the road and everything started to fall apart in blocks of broken glass. 

X tried to get away from the cracking ground below him but fell off the road while he was running away, he screamed at the top of his lungs watching the grassy earth come closer to meet his fall, but when he hit the ground he was ingolped by it instead. It didn't feel wet but he was floating in a sea of night stars as the waves sucked him in, he pushed and kicked against it but it didn't do him any good, he drifted letting the water carry his weightless body closing his eyes he felt like he was flying.

X opened his eyes and a bright white light greeted him he looked up into the slow spinning clouds and spotted something in the middle of the sky adjusting his vision to the distant object it look like X.

He tried to reach out to the other X but he was to far away, the X opened his eyes and a beam of light shot out and vaporized everything but when the light hit X he flew back and hit the star-water he was drowning in before. X saw everything rapidly flying pass him before he sank to the black abyss of his dream.

When he woke up again he saw Zero pulling him from a shipwreck on a beach he struggled to find his bearings but he stud when a hand tugged him up into Zero's chest embracing him tightly, it felt sad.

X let his arms wrap around Zero squeezing him as hard as he could without damaging the Red Bot to make sure he was real, but when X opened his eyes he found himself on the battlefield. Chaos and mavricks ran rampant around him along with shots from fighting hunters around the grey dusty landscape.

X just held onto Zero but upon looking up at his friend he realized he was nothing but a stone statue in his arms. "No!" He cried out, his cry echoed in his head.

X put his hands on what used to be Zero's face rubbing his thumb over his lips feeling for synthetic life but there was no sign.

Zero was gone.

X pressed his lips to the satue giving it a passionate kiss, cause if this was gonna be the last he ever see of his hero and best friend he wanted him to know how he loved him.

X woke up with tears running down his face.

-

X was cradling himself rocking back and forth curled up on the floor of his room, after that dream he needed something to help him pull himself back together.

It was just a dream, why was he scared? None of that stuff was real, none of that stuff even remotely made sense, yet it felt so tangible.

X sniffed and tried to strighten up his face but memories of a stone Zero clouded his mind, and then his face scrunched up and began to weep into the night.

He whimperd and whined so, he didn't even know he had that much water in his tear ducts, he tried wiping his tears but it didn't work they just came down harder, his throat stang and his eyes felt itchy he didn't wanna feel like this anymore.

He just wanted Zero.

He wanted Zero to hold him and protect him from his nightmare, from his troubles, from everything this world had to throw at him. With Zero X felt like he could at least withstand whatever trial he faced, cause he knew he wouldn't be facing it alone.

After what seem like forever a few hours at most, his tears started to subside (probably due to them needing to refill themself) and he fell back into sleep mode still trembling but to a lesser extent. 

He was waiting for Zero to come and tell him he was gonna be alright but he never came.

His sleep was dreamless. 

-

X woke up when he heard somebody trying to call him on his comm.

It was Alia.

He recognized her voice in his channel, so he put his finger to his ear and listened.

"Good morning sir I hope you're well this morning," She was always so kind. "I didn't see you last night, are you okay?" She sound concerned but was trying not to worry too much, it was Mega Man X she was talking to.

"I'm okay just… had a rough night…" he was trying to make his voice not sound as horse as it was from the crying he did the other night. "Is Zero back yet?"

X would feel a little more at ease if he knew his friend was back home safely.

"Hmm." She was checking the system for who got sent out and who returned today. "Nope Zero's still out hunting, but he might be back soon would you like me to let you know when he's about to return to base?"

"If I don't hear from him soon please do."

"Alright, I'll let you know if I hear from his company or Storm Eagles." She was about to sign off but something was bothering her about the way X sound when he spoke. "X…sir are you sure you're okay? " Navigators usually call their partners and other hunters sir within work hours, but off the clock they just address them by name if they knew them personally.

"Yeah, I just had a rough night like i said." He half lied.

"If you say so…take care of yourself X, I worry when you don't." Without another word she signed off leaving X to feel bad about masking his wounds.

He remembered the words of the Red hunter saying "he would be back tonight" but it was the day after.

"Whats holding you Zero, come home already." 

X looked towards the window as if he was talking to Zero threw the wind.


	3. Let me soothe you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero's been gone longer then he said, he comes home but not in a way X expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking this bit from janitorbots fanfiction every bite for every side when Zero says this
> 
> “I can’t speak for other reploids,” the warbot says professionally when the humans keep urging him  
> for an answer. “I personally have the pseudo-male genitalia. I halted the operation before I could be  
> installed with the other one.”
> 
> In this au I guess reploids can let the manufacturer put both in or they tell them which one they want.
> 
> In some cases I guess they put on what fits to the reploid like long brown hair that looks like a girl let's slap a vagina on it, short spiked hair that looks like a dude give him a hot dog But maybe sometimes they stop them before they can even put anything on them and they just don't want anything to do with those parts on them
> 
> Just my two cent anyway
> 
> I also have a cause of use one word too many times and I'm working on it I had to delete half of this and start over 
> 
> I get quite quiet tried and tired confused cause those words are spelled alike sorry about my spelling 😅

This morning X thought maybe he would shower his troubles away, that sound like a really good idea until he actually stepped into the bathroom and removed his armor.

He look down to see two small circular skin lumps protruding from his upper body, he cupped his chest moving the faux skin around weighing them. "their bigger…" He noticed.

Yes reploids could get upgrades that would let their body's mature just like humans do, they actually started manufacturing reploids to be this way but some of them opt to just stay how they were. In X's case he wasn't given the choice, though he thought he was done going threw his synthetic puberty his chest growing rounder proved him wrong.

He doubt anybody could tell he had lady parts cause his breasts were so tiny, but his hips were almost a different story. X hips were a little less then his navigators, they were rounder then a male's should be so anybody could easily mistake him to be a flat-chested girl if he wasn't careful.

I need to stop it he thought.

Shaking these bodily thoughts from his head the Blue Bot made his way to the shower.

Maybe if X actually tried to relax he could get his mind off his worries, maybe letting the cooling droplets rush down his skin would help sooth his venturing ego off the events of his dream. 

While he was scrubbing the soap his hands wondered to his groin and he felt the "lady part" between his legs and knew this is where the adventure came to a end.

Why did he have these things? Why did his creator do this to him? X just wanted to know if he was truly ment to be a boy or a girl was that too much to ask? If he had the body of a girl why did everybody assume he was a "he"? Why didn't they just say Mega Girl X? X was not a boy and he knew this, but he just needed to know what he was supposed to be, a boy or a girl robot, If he knew that he would have no other problems.

I remember when I said I was gonna stop thinking about this he thought.

X washed the soap from his frame and got out of the shower trying to rid himself of this complication that followed him day in and day out.

He dried himself off and zipped his bodysuit up and put on his signature blue armor clipping the sockets in place, he made his way out the door.

Maybe there was a reason he couldn't find answers, maybe his deta banks did not include this information for it didn't matter, he's sure he's told himself this but why he refuses to listen is beyond the Blue Bot.

X had work to do he couldn't let this stop him from doing what was most important, his job. He approached the middle of the command center proceeding to his navgator.

X manage to apprehend three mavricks from robbing Abel city's local bank, stop a fire themed mavrick from burning a school down and vist Dr. Cain all in one day when he returned to base he felt successful.

-

Upon returning X was stopped by a nurse themed reploid who seem to be scanning the hunters who came in, she looked like she was looking for someone but every hunter that pass by was not it.

"X sir," She put her hand out. "come with me please."

X looked like a mixture of fear and sadness but held himself together best he could. 

Storm Eagle was badly beaten his wings had holes in them and his arm was disconnected from the socket. "What happen Storm Eagle?!" X was even more concerned when he didn't see Zero with him.

The tall robotic bird told X how him and Zero got surprise attacked by serveral mavricks on their way back to base, he says he would have stayed and fought but Zero was hurt and he didn't wanna risk becoming immobile.

X felt pain for the bird themed hunter, his eyes told him how worried he was about him.

"Is Zero…" he was quite.

"Don't talk like that yes he's alive." Storm Eagle looked annoyed that X would even go there.

"I was going to say okay." X defended.

"Okay is a understatement," he chuckled. "but in bad shape would hit the nail on the wall. That fool threw himself in front of me more times then I could say I've ever done in my life."

That was just how Zero was, he liked the thrill of battle and cared for his comrades, one of the many reasons why X and Zero fell out was because the Red Bot was never careful on the battlefield he always threw himself into danger with saber in hand coming out looking like just fought in seven different battles all in one, back to back.

"You should go see him." The Eagle advised. "I will." X nodded and went to go see his friend.

There wasn't a sadder sight then this.

Zero a proud fighter was laying motionless on the medical bed, he had several small puncture wounds all over his body and a big hole that didn't go all the way threw his middle. 

The doctor said it wasn't as bad as it looked but it was pretty bad, they were going to have to rewire his circuitry from the broken wires in his abdomen but it wasn't anything too severe to fix.

X leaned over to see Zero's face, his eyes were closed but he was fighting to be conscious. X held onto one of Zero's hands squeezing it slightly for support.

Zero squeezed it back. "You idiot" he thought before forcing himself to let go so Zero could be worked on.

-

It didn't take long before the hunter was back on his feet and ready to head out once more. 

Zero's self-repair nanites were different from the average reploids, they healed faster and they started working sooner then what was considered normal, it's so alien that the scientist couldn't figure it out, not that he'd let them try.

The doctor's let Zero out with a warning. "don't go throwing yourself into the face of danger like you did or next time you might not make it back alive" a nurse told him with a stern look on her face.

"don't worry I don't intend to be back." Zero hated doctor's, Cain being exception, he never got check ups regularly cause he didn't think he needed it, and the doctor's kept him longer then usual every time. If his head fell off and his body could handle the trauma X believes he would just try to attach it back himself.

"Are you mad with me?" Zero looked at X cause he was being quiet the whole walk back to his room. Zero liked going to X's room it was soft and cozy, though reploids didn't need anything of that sort he just felt happier there then in his room by himself.

X squeezed Zero's hand hard.

When were we holding hands? Zero noticed when he stepped into the dark room. A few beeps from the door and it was locked, they were alone. 

"I had a nightmare when you was gone…" X hesitated on telling him but decided he wanted Zero to know. 

"Oh…" Zero glanced back at X's hand. "What was it about?"

X was silent.

"Did I do something bad in you're dream?" Zero was surprised that X would dream about him of all people.

"No." He said quietly. "You..left me."

Realization hit Zero hard, maybe X thought Zero was gonna leave him when he was being treated for his wounds, Zero does remember taking X hand reassuring him he was alive before he blacked out, apparently that wasn't enough for X to be sure he was okay. X should know better then to think Zero would die from a petty wound like he had.

"I don't wanna hear it if it's gonna make you upset X, don't tell me, I don't wanna know anymore."

X nodded "will you recharge with me?" X wasn't asking because he was lonely, he was asking because he desperately wanted to keep Zero where he could see him, where he could take care of him, where he could protect him.

Zero hummed in agreement, maybe that would be good for X.

They both removed their armor and got into the charging tube, X settled himself at the Red Bots side but there wasn't enough room for both of them in his small capsule so X was on top of Zero wrapping his arms around the taller Bots neck, sleep mode took over the minute they got comfortable. 

X had sweet dreams that night.

-

Zero usually woke up early so when X woke up the Red Bot was staring at him.

It took X's brain a hot minute to remember why Zero was in his capsule but then he remembered he invited him. "Good morning." Zero repeated a phrase he heard X use almost everyday when they would meet in the daytime. "It is." X smiled.

"You made me worry about you yesterday." X closed his eyes cause he didn't wanna make eye contact anymore. "You made yourself worry, I didn't do that to you." X was expecting something like that.

X felt Zero's warm hand lift his chin, he opened his eyes seeing Zero's blue one's. "Why'd you close them?"

X felt like he was going to over heat, either from how close they were or Zero's thumb rubbing his chin. "I was thinking." He lied. "About?"

"About myself."

"What about yourself?"

"My…my body, and other things."

"What about your body?"

"Its…" he bit his lip. "it's growing...and changing."

"You don't look any different to me." X could tell he was being sincere cause Zero was never one to tell lies. "You make me feel better about myself." He slung his arm around him and settled into his chest.

"We're gonna have to get up X." Zero was glad X was face down into his chest so he couldn't see him blushing. "I don't wanna" It was muffled but Zero heard the whiney protest. "It's time to work X, it's pass 5 in the morning." Zero argued.

"Five more minutes and I promise I'll get up." X lifted his head looking Zero in the eyes, he sighed, X had won the agreement so he let it be for five more minutes.


	4. You are my X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero helps X with the majority of their problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted the story to be longer but I ran out of ideas and then i started writing the confession and i wanted the confession to be at the end so I thought this is where the story needs to end.
> 
> I worked so many different confessions but this one seem to fit the most.

X held a orange rather small bag of seeds in both his hands. "Do you want to come with me?" 

Zero really didn't see the joy in feeding untamed animals but last time X asked him he said no, so maybe if he hates it he can give a actual reason to why he doesn't wanna go next time.

The sky was vast and blue like it normally was when it wasn't raining or cloudy out, X had some pumpkin seeds in a plastic bag shaking it around to alert any neighborly birds. "Don't birds eat bread?"

Zero didn't know what these untamed feathered creatures consumed but he did know that's what he saw people giving them most of the time.

"Bread isn't the healthiest for birds or ducks, we need to give them something they can eat."

X went close to the pond and squat down near them and started throwing seeds in and around the water, the brown and black feather creatures started pecking into the water where the seeds were floating and turning their heads up and swinging it really fast.

X repeated this action a few times until there was nothing in the bag, even the small birds from trees came out to eat with the ducks.

X looked like he was having fun feeding those avians.

When he was done he stud next to Zero and watched them gobble up the remaining seeds until there was no more. X smiled and started to walk, Zero was close behind still not understanding how this was supposed to be fun, they made their way into town and started to take the long way to hunter H.Q, Zero recognize the small shopping center they were passing cause he had saved it a couple of times before, he watched the scenery pass by them as they silently walked home.

"X." He interrupted the peace before they could get to the door.

"Yes?" 

"Why did you ask me to recharge with you?" He mumbled under his breath.

"Huh?"

"I said," he cleared his throat. "Did recharging together give you a fuller rest?"

"I…i guess so maybe, I felt rested when I woke up so i would assume it did."

Zero noticed X taking a few deep breaths as he was walking, Zero was about to ask X whats up with that when he remembered reploids don't really breath so another question rose.

"Hey are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well you're breathing pretty heavy."

"Yeah it's my chest, the armor it's kind of tight. I think I'm starting to grow out of it." Zero put his hand on his shoulder.

"If it's hurting you request a new one, you wouldn't be of any good use if you were being held back on the battlefield."

"I'll live. And besides, this armor has meaning to me I can't just throw it away."

He was created in this armor if his body was having a problem with it then it was just gonna have to adjust and deal with it. "As long as it doesn't mess with you're preformence X." He scolded.

-

Zero sleeping in X's room became a normal thing for him, he only uses his room for what's necessary but as far as sleeping or resting he uses X's room. Somehow X convinced Zero to move in with him sense he wasn't using his room anymore X thought that having Zero around all the time would be great and it was.

He was only usually there come night or if he didn't have anything to do, normally Zero would have Alia pile his to do list with mavrick hunting but he found hanging out with X was a better pass time. He liked it when X would go into sleep mode while working it wasn't the best way to fall asleep but Zero found X sleeping in his chair more then his capsule, good thing he was here to put him in his recharger when that happened.

X and Zero developed some kind of relationship while living together Zero wasn't sure what it was but something was different about how X looked at him everyday, he would spoil Zero with affection almost on a daily basis, offering to cook him something even though all he needed was a E-tank X knew how to make food reploids could enjoy without it clogging their systems so Zero allowed it and ate everything X cooked for him.

Most times they would eat together then climb into bed and recharge. The day would start, they would get up, eat breakfast, talk for a few minutes, check reports, train, do paper work or whatever needed to be done that day, turn in for the night, eat, talk some more then go to bed.

Zero started to catch on that X was treating him as if he was a lover other then a housemate, he thought X might want to engage in some form of courtship but Zero would let X do that part, he didn't wanna ruin their friendship if that's all it really was. When X is ready he would tell him and Zero would accept whatever answer came.

Not once has he seen X have a nightmare but recently X was having them and Zero didn't like how he was growing custom to holding X while he cried his eyes out every night, Zero tried to seek out answers to why X might be having repeated nightmares but he never found any.

X would wake up crying go to sleep crying and be so exhausted work was getting hard to manage, but still X kept his smile strong and shurged off the terrors everyday. He was a soldier fighting a war inside his mind and Zero just wanted to help him win it so the night terrors would leave him alone.

The feeling of another body next to Zero's was something he could not live without now, Zero knew how self-conscious X was about his body and they had many conversations about it, X says he thinks he was ment to be a female but everybody just confused him and now he's just custom to being a boy.

X doesn't hate being called male when he knows that's not the case it's just that being female while being told you're a male is very contradicting and leads X to go back and forth on the matter.

-

They normally found themself lazing around the house after work, today they were in deep conversation about X's developing body.

X put his hand on his chest. "it's kinda starting to hurt when I put my armor on, maybe I will get it resized like you said- oh sorry is it okay for me to talk about this?"

"Yeah it's okay, I think they look cute if it means anything." 

X blushed at that statement, he could feel his face heating up and his systems fireing.

"I personally don't care what you decide to do with yourself X, just…just keep being my friend and I'll be satisfied."

X's heart was butterflies at this point, Zero didn't care what X looked like he liked him for him and that seem to matter the most to the combat ready bot.

"would you mind calling me they? When it's just us."

Zero nod. "If it makes you happy why would I have a problem?" That made X's core feel warm.

"Can I ask you a question X?"

"Of course." 

Zero got closer. "do you think sense reploids and humans are so alike they could feel every emotion a human could?"

"I mean asensually yes cause they bulit us to be just like them but stronger, in you're case you were made to be a fighter but that doesn't stop you from being kind like you are to me, so yes, even bots like you could have feelings like humans do. You hate,you laugh, you-"

"Love?"

"Yes…yes you can love, the basis of love is consideration and understanding so yes i think you could love. Do you…love anybody?" X knew it was none of their business to ask about Zero's love life but it made X jealous to know that spot was taken in Zero's life.

"…You."

"Who's that? A hunter I haven't met yet? She sounds pretty, where did you meet her?"

"No- You, in front of me."

"Oh…oh…." X face flushed a brighter red, did he really just say that? Did X really just hear that? Was he malfunctioning?

"Who's she?" Zero smiled and wrapped his arms around X pulling them into his embrace.

He momomentarily pulled back from the embrace to kiss X on the cheek lovingly. "I wanna keep you safe." He hugged them tighter trying to get his message across that X was the most important thing to him.

X was overwhelmed by what just happened, but they wasn't questioning it, they just let it happen. "I…i love you too"

X arms made their way around Zero's larger frame and X laid their head on Zero's chest listening to his cooling system and artificial heart beat slow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my very first storys I wanted to explore X not knowing what to think about his gender and then what if he had a girls body to confuse him even more.
> 
> If you made it this far thanks for reading this run on sentences of a fanfiction.


End file.
